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To Peace & Happiness

1/22/2013

There's been so much drama in the last two years, I honestly don't know how I survived it with my sanity barely intact. And sometimes I can't believe some of the things I've said or done!!! I can't share it cos then y'all will really think I'm crazy. I'm not proud of some of it but chalk it up to ummm old age and not giving a shit about what people think - which can be a good or bad thing. Depends on who you ask.

Anyways, I don't want to continue this trend. I'm tired and want "peace and happiness." It's funny because when my mom was alive, she was always doling out advice to me. I would tune her out once she started lecturing me. But now...I'm always thinking what would mom do or say?? Or how would she handle this? Ironic, right?

Getting back to "peace and happiness", is it too ambitious of a goal? Maybe but I'm going try my best. I want to be a better daughter, sister, friend, partner, etc. How??? I guess it's another work in progress. Now I know there are people reading this blog, I see the stats. Please help me and add your comments!!! Your opinions or thoughts. Just so I know I'm not alone in this....thanks!

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Norm's bday

1/15/2013

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So this is the last of the birthdays celebrated without my mom. We had a nice quiet dinner at Capital Grill. I imagine each year will get easier. Now we just have to get through the rest of the holidays.

I think Chinese New Year will be the hardest. It was the one holiday that my mom really embraced and celebrated. My brother and I would have to serve tea to my parents every year! When we were younger, we thought in order to get our red envelopes we had to serve the tea. And now that we're older, we understand it's more of a respect for my parents and for the holiday. I'm sure we'll keep doing it as Dad will still expect it!

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A slap of reality from Dad

1/13/2013

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Made my daily call to Dad and he said something so insightful that it rated a post to the blog.

He asked how I was doing and said I need to be with people who treats me well. "And now that mommy is gone, there is one less person in this world who loves you."

Devastatingly sad but so true........how can I not feel sad when I hear that. I now realize I am still grieving for my mom. And I thought I was doing better but apparently not.....need to be positive but easier said than done.....

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Happy 2013!

1/9/2013

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Man, it's been a tough couple of years. Barely survived the breakup of a 10-year relationship in 2011 and then losing my mom in 2012. So it can't get any worse in 2013, right? Except I started the year with pneumonia and a flat tire.

So what can I look forward to in 2013? Here's my wish list or maybe this is what some people call resolutions:
1. Embrace the loss of my mom and celebrate her life/spirit instead of letting the grief take over.
2. Be happy!
3. Continue to spend time with Dad and really appreciate him like I never had before.
4. Work more and save $$.
5. Travel more but then I guess I won't be able to save $$.
6. Volunteer and keep up with the visits with the seniors. Meet new seniors at different senior housing apts.
7. Have meaningful relationships - friends, family and a partner to share my life with.
8. Be a good provider to my two cats - Choco and Bailey.
9. Keep up with this website so I can keep the memory of my mom alive.
10. Don't let the bad experiences and negativity influence my life. This is still a work in progress. Hard to let go of the grief, hurt, helplessness and anger that easily lead to insecurity and uncertainty.

There's more so stay tuned.

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To Peace & Happiness

Norm's bday

A slap of reality from Dad

Happy 2013!

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