Blog Archives

Confiscating her stash :(

9/26/2011

So I went over to my parent's apt. for dinner. Dad told me a few days ago that my mom was smoking "real" cigarettes again. Basically he wanted me to be the bad guy and take the cigs away. Am I doing the right thing? Part of me thinks it's already too late so what if she takes up smoking again? Will it make that much of a difference? The other part asks why are we wasting our time by going to the hospital, appts with drs, dealing with the emotional crap that goes along with this disease. So she really should stop. Right?

I guess it's a question for the doctor. In the meantime, lets see how long it takes before my mom asks me for the cigs back.......

0 Comments

The talk.....

9/22/2011

0 Comments

So yes, mom is doing well - side effects are kept at bay with the meds, She's still going out for her "cigarette" breaks and shopping at Wal-Mart. No signs of feeling sorry for herself, anger, or a poor attitude of why me? But I had to know what she was really feeling. I wanted her to know it was ok if she wanted to lash out or cry. I can't imagine her pouring out her feelings to my dad. As it is, my dad gets all choked up at the thought of losing her.

And this is what she had to say - she would be upset if she got this disease because of second-hand smoke but knows that she did this to herself. So she's ok with the idea of dying. Said if it wasn't lung cancer then it would have been some other kind of disease. And if she had to live out her days in a nursing home then she would rather die.

She also said she doesn't really feel sick. It seems like the doctors are lying to her and it's all a dream. So she's just living her life the way she did before the diagnosis. Folks, it's not like she's delusional. She knows it's real but chooses not to let the cancer take over. Well, that's my take anyway......

0 Comments

Shaving of the head

9/14/2011

0 Comments

Last night I told my friend Julie that my mom lost about 80% of her hair this past weekend. And Julie said why don't you just shave it off? It'll look better than the straggly strands that were left. So I proposed it to my dad but he wasn't sure my mom would go for it. When I asked my mom, she thought it was a good idea!

She even allowed me to videotape it. She was in good spirits as my dad was teasing her that she was going to look like a monk. I was thinking maybe I would give her a mohawk and color it pink or blue. But she said we would have to put her in the mental ward if I did tha

Anyways, it was just another cancer hurdle than she passed with flying colors. Thanks mom for being so brave. I know I wouldn't have been able to handle the hair loss but then again, I'm so vain....

0 Comments

2nd Round of Chemo

9/12/2011

2 Comments

Here we go again. Mom and Dad are used to the drill now. More drugs are pumped into her. Let's see how she does.

2 Comments

Old Country Buffet Breakfast

9/11/2011

1 Comment

Ok, Mom insisted on trying this place because the old ladies at the senior home recommended it. I tried telling her she won't like it. And we all know how picky she is about food! Now y'all know where I get it from! But she wanted to try.....I didn't see her for a few days and when I picked her up, I couldn't believe the physical changes in just a couple of days. Her hair is almost gone, really straggly and her face had a grayish tinge to it. I couldn't hold back the tears (sorry, I think this is going to be a common theme here) and had to look away. I cannot break down in front of her. Otherwise, she'll feel bad. I know she feels like she has to keep up a brave front for us so we won't fall apart. That's how these older Chinese women are built...stay strong and be silent if in pain. But doesn't she need an outlet to express her pain, frustration and helplessness? Damn....how can I help? Sorry, didn't want to make it sound so tragic. Because breakfast wasn't that bad - see video. Let's just say we won't be going back again!

1 Comment

Post check-up

9/1/2011

0 Comments

Mom went in for bloodwork to check her red and white blood cell counts. And good news - all within normal range. She is doing amazingly well considering. Pamela, NP says mom is doing great.

Mom still has an appetite and doing her normal routine. She's a little tired but that's ok. It's to be expected.

0 Comments

Confiscating her stash :(

The talk.....

Shaving of the head

2nd Round of Chemo

Old Country Buffet Breakfast

Post check-up

Archives

Author

Categories