With a sense of relief, I continue my journey of self-awareness and getting my shit together. The episode with Por Por solidifies the fact that I cannot handle or deal with being sad. The emotions that come with it - sad, anger and helplessness seem amplified. So much so that it's debilitating - I just want to stay in bed. Sounds very dramatic, right? Tragic, almost. I know it's not that bad. Other people have it way worse. So got to get over it. Move on....
I sat on the beach for hours....no one around....relaxing...trying to reconcile what I've been feeling and what my Mom would want for me. I can hear her telling me to enjoy what life has to offer. Cos that's what she did. Stop wasting my time and energy in grieving for her. I get it....
So I ate ok, prayed to my Mom for guidance and reassurance. For the love part, it's still unresolved. Too complicated. Let's just table it for now. I just want to be happy whether I'm in or out of a relationship. No drama. Open myself up to receive love, happiness and whatever good there is. Life is too short...damn, how many times do we have to say it before we believe it? Before another person close to us passes away? Don't wait....life is good. Embrace and enjoy, right?
I sat on the beach for hours....no one around....relaxing...trying to reconcile what I've been feeling and what my Mom would want for me. I can hear her telling me to enjoy what life has to offer. Cos that's what she did. Stop wasting my time and energy in grieving for her. I get it....
So I ate ok, prayed to my Mom for guidance and reassurance. For the love part, it's still unresolved. Too complicated. Let's just table it for now. I just want to be happy whether I'm in or out of a relationship. No drama. Open myself up to receive love, happiness and whatever good there is. Life is too short...damn, how many times do we have to say it before we believe it? Before another person close to us passes away? Don't wait....life is good. Embrace and enjoy, right?
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