Somehow fate had other ideas because it turned out that my friend and a colleague and his wife were both in Ft Lauderdale! So I wasn't alone at night! And during the day, I had my alone time and sat on the beach.- man, I cried my eyes out cos I realized how much I missed my Mom and Hel. Then thought about everything that was going on and tried to put it in perspective. I also re-affirmed my self-worth. Well, I tried...And without going into detail, how I thought I was over a bad experience that happened about 10 years ago but I guess I wasn't. Watching "Crazy Rich Asians" and seeing that same scenario play out on the big screen brought out some painful feelings to the surface. It was when the rich mother of the guy told the girl he's dating that she will never be enough! Acknowledging it and understanding how that could've affected me helped during my self-reflective time on the beach.
It's still a work in progress but hoping that I'm still growing as a person despite being in my 50s!! Yikes...