She's gone, my loving, crazy, nutty friend - Helen. She's been with me through thick and thin for almost all of my life. She put up a valiant fight but her body couldn't handle all of the added stress. I'm heartbroken and reliving what I went through with my mom. Death never gets easier, does it?
I've been helping her daughter and sisters navigate their way with the drs and hospital stuff. And just finished with all of the arrangements for the service. It does seem a little surreal and maybe it hasn't totally hit me yet. Maybe when I need to tell her something and realize I can't text her anymore? I don't know.
I've always felt that as long as Helen was with me, I can handle any kind of situation. I would drag her with me any time I knew I was going into an awkward or uncomfortable setting. And she would willingly tag along. No questions asked. We've been through so much together from kindergarten to present day. From our awkward adolescent and teenage years to the 80's perm with bangs! Damn, we thought we were styling. Weddings, childbirth (well, for her), deaths, and divorces. EVERYTHING - ups and downs. We didn't agree on everything but we had the same core values. We were destined to be besties cos who's going to the movies with me, try new restaurants, eat at our old favorite ones, cooking and baking, weekly IKEA trips, dance to disco, volunteer and just always laugh at the crazy-ass situations we would find ourselves in? It's never going to be the same.
I will say that I saw her yesterday for the last time. And she looked like she was at peace. Free from the pain and all of the stresses life gives you. It's bittersweet cos I need her and will miss her friendship. But I can't be selfish...sigh.
I was having dim sum with her daughter Joce, Jenna, friend to Joce and Laura, Hel's sister this morning. And I remembered I'm Joce's godmother! I totally forgot cos Joce always called me Auntie Brenda! I guess it doesn't matter cos I'm going to be there for her always.
The service will be this coming Friday at Waterman's from 5pm - 8pm. Same place where we had the wake for my Mom. Weird walking around the funeral home. Again surreal....but the same yummy hard candy! Joce remembered Helen grabbing handfuls of it! Typical.....
I love and miss you, Hel! Rest in peace.
I've been helping her daughter and sisters navigate their way with the drs and hospital stuff. And just finished with all of the arrangements for the service. It does seem a little surreal and maybe it hasn't totally hit me yet. Maybe when I need to tell her something and realize I can't text her anymore? I don't know.
I've always felt that as long as Helen was with me, I can handle any kind of situation. I would drag her with me any time I knew I was going into an awkward or uncomfortable setting. And she would willingly tag along. No questions asked. We've been through so much together from kindergarten to present day. From our awkward adolescent and teenage years to the 80's perm with bangs! Damn, we thought we were styling. Weddings, childbirth (well, for her), deaths, and divorces. EVERYTHING - ups and downs. We didn't agree on everything but we had the same core values. We were destined to be besties cos who's going to the movies with me, try new restaurants, eat at our old favorite ones, cooking and baking, weekly IKEA trips, dance to disco, volunteer and just always laugh at the crazy-ass situations we would find ourselves in? It's never going to be the same.
I will say that I saw her yesterday for the last time. And she looked like she was at peace. Free from the pain and all of the stresses life gives you. It's bittersweet cos I need her and will miss her friendship. But I can't be selfish...sigh.
I was having dim sum with her daughter Joce, Jenna, friend to Joce and Laura, Hel's sister this morning. And I remembered I'm Joce's godmother! I totally forgot cos Joce always called me Auntie Brenda! I guess it doesn't matter cos I'm going to be there for her always.
The service will be this coming Friday at Waterman's from 5pm - 8pm. Same place where we had the wake for my Mom. Weird walking around the funeral home. Again surreal....but the same yummy hard candy! Joce remembered Helen grabbing handfuls of it! Typical.....
I love and miss you, Hel! Rest in peace.
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